tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-59859028709261069842012-03-05T23:34:38.214-05:00Girl's Got ShineNever let anyone take away your shine.Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.comBlogger3021100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-41047422881108610242012-03-05T09:00:00.000-05:002012-03-05T09:00:05.350-05:00Open facebookRemember my guy friend (SN: He really needs a nickname; I'll work on that)? I guess the girlfriend finally admitted she was ready for a little more - even the title "girlfriend." Once that was established, she wondered to my friend, "So what happens next?"
He gave her a couple of options - one of which was adding each other to facebook (not making the relationship status facebook-official; just Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-45573995472395763002012-03-02T09:17:00.000-05:002012-03-02T09:17:00.818-05:00Roses aren't cheap"Who needs flowers and chocolate when you can get groceries?"
My friend said that to me when talking about a guy she was dating, who would bring food over, and cook.
Now, I tend to agree with her. I don't cook, and I hate to grocery shop, so if a guy shows up with groceries, I'm a happy camper. Of course, I also like flowers. And chocolate. And shiny things....
{My friend is much lower Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-18927925643382631782012-02-29T09:00:00.000-05:002012-02-29T09:00:13.959-05:00Blogging about relationshipsPeople keep asking how I feel about blogging about my relationship with Trooper, now that he knows about the site. In fact, Trooper even commented that maybe I should have kept the site a secret; that knowing he can see what's here might keep me from being completely honest.
The truth is, it's not an easy balance. On the one hand, writing about us and him when he didn't know made me feel like I Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-72784716426823129512012-02-27T09:00:00.000-05:002012-02-27T09:00:13.200-05:00Sing the wordsTrooper has a lot of funny, cute quirks. One of them is his knowledge of all things musical. For every situation, his mind comes up with a random soundtrack - and he sings the lyrics, basically serenading life.
I have a fairly common name - and it's in a lot of songs. The other night, Trooper was singing me a medley of {Insert Real Name Here} songs - until he came to one that required the lyric,Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-77970160219888803332012-02-24T09:30:00.000-05:002012-02-24T09:30:01.160-05:00Dating survival kitThere are certain things I never leave home without - some things, I even have duplicates with me just about everywhere. For example, I have lip gloss in my purse and my car. I always keep deodorant, a toothbrush, hand-lotion, hairspray and perfume in my car.
If I'm going on a date, some of those things might end up in my purse, too - just in case I have an emergency in the restaurant, or I Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-67604047250581306652012-02-23T09:00:00.000-05:002012-02-23T09:00:12.862-05:00Second Annual Bachelor AuctionRemember this event from last year? Well, the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention - Capital Region is hosting their Second Annual Bachelor Auction on Saturday, March 31. Once again, the event is being held at Vapor Night Club in Saratoga, NY. Once again, a date with one of the areas 15 most eligible bachelors will be up for grabs!
Guys for sale - what could be better? Last year, this Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-82279406605779723292012-02-22T09:30:00.000-05:002012-02-22T09:30:01.860-05:00What to do when you're in love with your best friendA while back, I issued an open call for guest posts. I'm still getting responses (thanks, everyone) and working my way through them. A busy-blogger's dream-come-true.
This guest post comes to us from Sabrina Jackson, a guest post contributor who enjoys writing about dating and relationships. In addition, Sabrina also owns Free Dating Sites, where she focuses on educating singles about safe Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-60593767488114836672012-02-21T09:00:00.000-05:002012-02-21T09:00:03.021-05:00Make a list, not a typeSeveral years ago, I was talking with a friend who was in a long-term relationship with a guy she loved a lot (they've since gotten married). I wasn't seeing anyone special at the time, and we were talking about how tough it was for me to find guys worth dating.
"Have you made a list?" she asked me.
I had not. It had never even occurred to me. I mean - I knew what I wanted in a boyfriend - in Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-44125945332492185132012-02-17T09:00:00.000-05:002012-02-17T09:00:00.386-05:00Girls have cooties, tooI was talking to a guy-friend at work the other day, recapping each other's Valentine's Day celebrations.
Me: How was your V-Day?
Him: Good. I had a meeting with a bunch of old, married guys (that is voluntary on his part, and happens every week). She and I will do something this weekend.
Me: WAIT!!! You kept your regular meeting instead of spending V-Day with her?!
Him: Yes, she said she Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-49242698631169307932012-02-16T09:00:00.000-05:002012-02-16T09:00:09.954-05:00Love is a fairy taleLast week, I posted this photo on facebook - and holy hell, did it get some reactions.
One guy said, "Uh, the real world isn't as glamorous as cliches and positivity posters."
No kidding, jackass...and in the real world, pumpkins don't turn into carriages, either.... was how I wanted to respond. But I kept it cool and nice (as much as possible) because it was my personal facebook and some Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-81809424937891447642012-02-13T09:00:00.000-05:002012-02-13T09:00:09.517-05:00Keys to communication
"Could you also go ahead and tell us how exactly do we talk about our concerns without sounding overly possessive or bitchy? That would help."
That's the comment that a reader left for me on a post about communication, and drawing the line. Specifically, I was saying that couples should be able to share concerns without accusing or giving orders.
Great, GGS - you've said what to do. Now whatGirl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-64313809203340638532012-02-10T09:00:00.000-05:002012-02-10T09:00:07.119-05:00Single on Valentine's DayUnless things go horribly wrong in the next five days, I don't plan on being single without an SO this Valentine's Day.
However - it's the first V-Day in a while when I will be in a relationship. I'm all too familiar with flying solo on a day serving as a constant reminder of all the things your love life isn't. So, for those looking to "survive" the day without a romantic partner - take heart. Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-25327859687948732972012-02-09T09:00:00.000-05:002012-02-09T09:00:04.677-05:00Love isn't an algorithmBaking Suit sent me a link to an article about online dating site algorithms, and whether or not they actually work.
If dating sites want to claim that their matching algorithm is scientifically valid, they need to adhere to the standards of science, which is something they have uniformly failed to do. In fact, our report concludes that it is unlikely that their algorithms can work, even in Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-14055133790382484982012-02-07T09:30:00.000-05:002012-02-07T09:30:01.160-05:00Single, not availableI referred to myself as a single woman the other day, and someone said to me, "But you're not single."
"Um...sure I am," I responded.
The way I see it, I live on my own, pay my own mortgage and various other bills, mow my own lawn, shovel my own driveway, and take my car to be fixed. Among other things.
If I wasn't single - I would have someone to share all those responsibilities. Yes,Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-61895462029754409352012-02-06T09:00:00.000-05:002012-02-06T09:00:00.198-05:00Compromise
Something I'm learning is that relationships require a lot of compromise. Despite what some think, I'm even aware that sometimes I'm the one who has to compromise.
Who knew?
Any-who, sometimes compromise means watching a sport you don't enjoy, making small-talk with people you don't know, eating food you don't really like.
It also means you might have to stay up later than usual, andGirl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-58934710763570733712012-02-02T09:00:00.000-05:002012-02-02T09:00:17.061-05:00Drama queen
I'm currently in the middle of a Sex and the City Marathon, watching the full series from start to finish. In a season three episode, Carrie was at a point in her relationship with Aidan where everything was going well, there were no worries or uncertainty. Basically, it was the relationship she'd been looking for.
And she was scared to death.
Carrie started to wonder... Do we need the drama Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-27332610209026898252012-01-31T09:00:00.000-05:002012-01-31T09:00:01.526-05:00Princes and frogsThe other night, my friend's four-year-old daughter got all dressed up in her Sleeping Beauty costume, grabbed her magic wand, waved it at her brother and said,
Hold still. I'm gonna turn you into a frog!
My friend said,
Wouldn't that be great? We could turn the ones we didn't want back into frogs, and keep them all in a pond.
It got me thinking. If all women turned every guy who wronged them Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-2259161259960296702012-01-30T09:00:00.000-05:002012-01-30T09:00:00.472-05:00Lust or love?I get emails from iVillage with links to posts about love, sex, relationships, style, etc. Sometimes, they're helpful, and sometimes, they just don't make any sense. I found this one, Is He in Love or Lust with You? Find Out!, to be particularly annoying.
The title suggests to me that the article will dig deep into the man's psyche and reveal the hidden mystery about how he feels. I thought Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-5836714211077703072012-01-27T09:30:00.000-05:002012-01-27T09:30:01.110-05:00John Steinbeck: Two kinds of loveI found this story over at How About We.
In a letter dated November 10, 1958, Steinbeck gives his son Thom some inspirational advice on love. Without reading Thom's letter, it seems like he was questioning if love he was feeling was real, and if he should tell his intended.
Steinbeck says:
There are several kinds of love. One is a selfish, mean, grasping, egotistical thing which uses love for Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-71835950515969554192012-01-25T10:00:00.000-05:002012-01-25T10:00:05.452-05:00V-Day pressure
It's coming; you can't fight it, or stop it. You can try to ignore it - or simply make the best of it.
Valentine's Day.
It probably seems like I should be OK with it this year. Everything is going really well with Trooper, and all signs point to me having a Valentine (my first in many years!).
But it's a lot of pressure. Honestly - I'd gotten used to being solo on V-Day. Last year, I got a Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-4792648911698818822012-01-23T09:00:00.000-05:002012-01-23T09:00:00.376-05:00Lesson worth learningI'm all for open, honest communication. I'm not someone who wants to shy away from having a conversation, no matter how difficult. In the long run, I think it's better to put yourself out there and be upfront about how you feel.
Even if it is difficult, in the short-term.
First - just because you're not afraid to say how you feel doesn't mean you shouldn't still pick your battles. Not Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-32449539878217232932012-01-20T09:33:00.000-05:002012-01-20T09:33:00.337-05:00Worst of 2011My 2011 ended on a fantastic note. That doesn't mean that there weren't a few dating disasters. Here are few I would classify as the worst.
- Trapping myself in a guy's bedroom while trying to make a hasty, angry exit
- Too soon for the L word (way too soon)
- (Barely) a date with a Crush - who got married a few months later (to someone I know!)
- Guy who lied - about everything
- Having to "Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-21528735389260758902012-01-18T09:04:00.000-05:002012-01-18T09:04:00.064-05:00Fine lineTrooper and I were talking about men and women being just friends. Specifically, the affect it has when one (or both) of them is in a relationship.
That's a real issue for some people. To the point where friendships end. I lost almost a year with a good friend because his fiance didn't like him having female friends.
It also ends relationships. When X had a female friend outside our marriage, Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-21660262769043590062012-01-17T09:00:00.000-05:002012-01-17T09:00:06.122-05:00Where to find a dateThe other day, on a blog I frequent, we were discussing what type of people you meet in bars. OK, actually we were discussing the use of the word "girls" versus "women" - but it all started from a discussion about what types to meet where, and the conversation snowballed.
Anyway, several people made the comment (on both blogs, actually) that it is difficult to meet people outside of bars. ThatGirl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-13394885529696877152012-01-13T09:00:00.000-05:002012-01-13T09:00:13.377-05:00Superstitious dateToday is full of superstitions. Some people won't even go out on Friday the 13th - never mind schedule something important. Like a date.
I consider myself more particular than superstitious. I don't have a lucky top or bracelet that I always have to wear. But if I showed up to a date with a pair of earrings that wasn't quite right with my outfit, I'd convince myself that the whole thing was Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-53235382376603224152012-01-12T09:00:00.000-05:002012-01-12T09:00:07.103-05:00Choose you
A while back, I posted an open invitation for guest posts. Sarah responded with this post about disappointing relationships, finding yourself esteem, and choosing to love yourself.
Fabulous.
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We all know certain things when we are in a relationship. We know what makes us unhappy, lonely, anxious, jealous, angry, disappointed and what makes us feel threatened. Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-45422350054591331762012-01-10T09:00:00.000-05:002012-01-10T09:00:05.795-05:00Great expectationsIt's funny how different dating is when you're older (and divorced) versus how it was before all that "life" changed you. When I was with X, I tried to be in charge. I made plans on our behalf, chose when we'd arrive, how we'd get there, and usually when we'd leave. Family events always trumped sports because...well, just because. Those priorities seemed obvious to me, and the fact that guys Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-28942740468691216572012-01-09T09:00:00.000-05:002012-01-09T09:00:03.104-05:00Having a healthy attitude when using a dating siteBelow is a post from Cara Michaels, a blogger for OnlineDatingSites.net. Cara's friends and family constantly seek her out for dating advice, and she has taken her knowledge and experience to the web. She responded to my open invitation for guest posts.
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Many people visit dating sites for all the wrong reasons. Maybe they’re lonely, or they have just ended aGirl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-85410492757931946672012-01-05T13:00:00.000-05:002012-01-05T13:00:02.048-05:00An ode to TonyI've shared my Best of the Worst dating profiles. I've rarely shared my dating site email or IM exchanges, though there have been some real winners, believe me.
Baking Suit sent this to me, and I thought it was something everyone here would enjoy. You're welcome.
Seems Katie found a real winner. That lucky girl.
Read An Ode to Tony here.Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-58750450566831050402012-01-05T09:00:00.000-05:002012-01-05T09:00:00.704-05:00Dating below your standardsIn the spirit of sharing guest posts, another blogger who responded to my open invitation was Atiya Townes. She authors a blog about getting her life back together, called Remaking Me, where she says "The most difficult thing to change is myself."
I love it.
She blogged a couple weeks ago about dating below your standards. She asked if I'd share it with y'all - so I thought I would. Read it Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-52741061399056805602012-01-04T14:00:00.000-05:002012-01-04T14:00:06.766-05:00Every queen deserves her kingI remember once talking to a group of friends about older couples getting married. My friend who works in the wedding industry said she worked with a couple who was in their 70's, both widowed, and had decided to get married.
I like the idea that love is an ever-changing thing, that's different for everyone. It doesn't come packaged in a perfect box with a ribbon, and it doesn't always take on Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-32863423475043282142012-01-04T09:30:00.000-05:002012-01-04T09:30:01.900-05:00Skies of grey
A while back, I posted an open invitation for guest posts. Workingdan responded, saying he'd like to post something about dating from the perspective of a married man.
As you can see from his post, things have turned around dramatically in Workingdan's life recently. I'm actually pretty honored that he sent this post to be published here, and am happy to share it.
There is nothing more Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-5999846534268488302012-01-03T09:00:00.000-05:002012-01-03T09:00:04.868-05:00Not a chanceWhen I'm in a salon, I like to just sit and relax. I'm not there to talk or make friends, I'm just there to get some peace and quiet, and for some me-time. But that doesn't mean I won't eavesdrop on other conversations - especially when they won't be quiet.
So the other day, I was getting my nails done, and the two women behind me, who were obviously meeting for the first time, struck up a Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-25700381662417876862011-12-30T08:30:00.001-05:002011-12-30T08:30:00.907-05:00Happy New Year!Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-82731908252304365512011-12-29T08:30:00.000-05:002011-12-29T08:30:00.489-05:00With some resolveLast year, I decided to take the advice of a very good friend, and go where I am happy - not where I think I should be. He told me I shouldn't settle for someone who wouldn't let me be myself, or who made me feel like I had to change.
It took some doing - a love cleanse, a few bad dates, and a guy who wouldn't go away - but I did find someone who makes me very happy. It turns out, it doesn't Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-90867335533246783292011-12-28T08:30:00.000-05:002011-12-28T10:29:43.102-05:00PrioritiesOn Christmas Eve, Trooper and I had a couple of different plans that sort of got squished together, time-wise. I have to admit - I panicked a little.Turns out, I'm not very good at mixing my schedule and priorities with someone else's. I texted Baking Suit, and thankfully, she was able to talk me off the ledge.
Trooper had something he wanted to do in the afternoon - which meant we had to go to aGirl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-75048328254595073752011-12-27T09:00:00.000-05:002011-12-27T09:00:00.383-05:00Greatest giftIn case you're wondering, Trooper and I spent a lovely holiday together. We had dinner with a couple of my "families" and exchanged gifts together on Christmas Eve. I made (what would pass for) breakfast on Christmas morning.
As far as a gifts, he gave me a lot more than I gave him. That's always a little awkward, no matter what the relationship (unless it's a parent and child, I suppose). Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-50248223811430101752011-12-23T09:00:00.000-05:002011-12-23T09:00:00.833-05:00Merry Christmas
Wishing everyone a Christmas that shines!
Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-72820348152189506802011-12-22T09:30:00.000-05:002011-12-22T10:04:18.148-05:00Trust and confidenceI mentioned earlier this week how I'm learning that, in a solid, healthy relationship, outside friendships (even with the opposite sex) are okay.
A couple of commenters thought this made sense; others disagreed, and stuck to the adage that men and women "cannot be friends; the sex gets in the way."
One commenter admitted that one of her close friends is a guy who she "hooked up with a longGirl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-24560868530117317872011-12-21T09:00:00.000-05:002011-12-21T11:23:17.393-05:00LabelsI'm not really sure why I've been thinking about it so much - maybe because I've been buried in address and gift labels for weeks now. But I've been thinking a lot about labels, and their affect on people.
It turns out, Trooper and I have "labels" - of the official variety. I told myself that just because I was given a title, that doesn't mean I'm going to act any differently. I mean - why shouldGirl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-18158684059710920222011-12-20T09:30:00.000-05:002011-12-20T10:57:41.062-05:00Just friendsI was reading the other day that men and women can not be just friends; because the guy always wants to have sex with the woman. I also believe that Rob Reiner, with the help of Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan, have already covered that for us.
I used to think that was true. In fact - I used to have a real problem with X having a female friend. That ended badly; and isn't really the subject of Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-51001453124222417252011-12-19T09:30:00.000-05:002011-12-19T09:30:00.812-05:00Your own story"You and your boyfriend are welcome for Christmas dinner...."
That's what my friend's mom said to me the other night. Then she caught herself, put her hand over her mouth and said, "Ooops...I forgot. I'm not supposed to use that word."
Boyfriend.
I'm not afraid of the label - but Trooper and I hadn't officially discussed using them, and honestly - I don't like to jinx myself. That, andGirl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-7525482490633605262011-12-16T09:30:00.000-05:002011-12-16T09:30:04.578-05:00Little bits...Just a few thoughts to end your week (or start your weekend)....
- I told Trooper about this blog (Everybody wave!!)... He's such a cool guy, and took it totally in stride.
- That said...he did make one suggestion. He thinks I should call him Bigger instead of Trooper. No - not because of that - get your minds out of the gutter! Because he's bigger, and better, than Big.
- Blogs of NoteGirl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-49439956924611036252011-12-14T09:00:00.000-05:002011-12-14T09:00:04.158-05:00White liesThe Free Dictionary defines a white lie as, "An often trivial, diplomatic, or well-intentioned untruth."
You know, like telling someone that you like an outfit (when you really don't) to boost her confidence, or telling a date you had a good time (when you really didn't) to spare his feelings. Or:
I know I sent that email...
I'll be ready in five minutes...
Oh, your baby is adorable!
You Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-79997071549836980512011-12-13T11:00:00.000-05:002011-12-13T11:00:12.222-05:00Sound of rejectionNo sound is louder than the silent sound of rejection.
Unfortunately, it's just something you have to get used to when you're doing the online-dating thing. You scour profiles, find the perfect person and it seems like you're their perfect person. You spend hours crafting the perfect email - the right balance of smart, witty and fun, only to be met with....
*crickets*
It happens; it's all a Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-5018058691373106642011-12-12T09:36:00.000-05:002011-12-12T09:36:01.594-05:00Write your own rules
"Maybe you can offer some insight?"
That's what my friend said to me the other day. My poor friends - they're never sure what they're getting themselves into when they ask for my advice.
Specifically - what's the time-frame for first kisses - and beyond?
Personally, I'm torn on this issue. I've said before, I don't really follow "rules." I think sometimes, we need to do what feels right - andGirl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-38633601399955672422011-12-09T15:00:00.000-05:002011-12-09T15:00:01.733-05:00NoteworthyAny time my little corner of the interwebz gets recognized or promoted, I'm pretty excited. It doesn't take much to please me, I know - just don't tell any of my dates.
I'm pretty proud of this blog, and the fact that people have approached me more than once for advice, insight, perspective - and the occasional giggle, even if it's at my expense sometimes. Hey - I'm here to help. I mean yeah, Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-25760893554046530882011-12-09T09:00:00.000-05:002011-12-09T09:00:05.837-05:00Wrap it upAssuming we're still together, Christmas Day will be exactly two months since my first date with Trooper. Someone close to me recently observed that it's so nice that I "have someone" during the holidays, the toughest time to be alone.
This person is also happily married to a freaking prince...
So while she's right that it is nice to be with someone for some parts of the holiday - I don't Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-41868859667483829602011-12-08T10:09:00.000-05:002011-12-08T10:09:01.128-05:00Price of doing businessThis story about a woman who supplemented her income by dating guys she met online broke a couple weeks ago. I heard it from Cute~Ella first, and then Kristi blogged about it over here. I stayed quiet because...well, because everyone was already talking about it, and I wasn't sure what I could really add.
Then this morning, I guess ABC was talking about it on a morning show, and a friend texted Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-33766818164999796862011-12-06T09:00:00.000-05:002011-12-06T10:38:56.656-05:00Signs everywhereThere are a million signs that a guy isn't into you. There are also less obvious signs that he is into you. My problem has always been reading the darn signs. I misinterpret and misunderstand when I'm forced to guess or wonder or try to read between the lines.
I'm getting all kinds of signs from Trooper. Signs that I think (and hope) mean that he is into me.
- I once read that spending all your Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-14591618027406158242011-12-05T09:30:00.000-05:002011-12-05T09:30:00.988-05:00DealbreakersI used to have a "type." Then, after dating for a while, I realized that having a type often meant I would shy away from guys because they didn't fit the mold. For a while, I went on a date with just about any guy who asked, to make sure I wasn't walking away from someone worth keeping around.
Sounds like a big waste of time, right? I definitely went on some lousy dates - but I learned a lot, Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-91158533213542744202011-12-02T09:00:00.000-05:002011-12-02T09:00:16.801-05:00Online herpesGardner texted me the other night. He asked how I was, and I said I was good - and then mentioned I was seeing someone. He responded by saying he wasn't sure why I'd say that.... Let me back up.
You may recall that the last time Gardner and I spoke - it didn't exactly go well. We basically broke up, and not on good terms. We were never just friends; we went directly from dating to not speaking Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-35894179156321379452011-12-01T08:30:00.000-05:002011-12-01T08:30:00.329-05:00Less than halfA friend and I were talking the other day about meeting new people, and how important it is (or isn't) to have things in common. He was a little concerned that a woman he met only has one real hobby - and it isn't one that he shares.
I said I didn't see that as an issue. It's not like they need to be tied together at the hip all the time. So, she goes off and does her thing, and he'll do his. IfGirl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-31811996008947311682011-11-29T10:00:00.000-05:002011-11-29T10:00:02.054-05:00Easy outRemember this guy? From conversations I've seen around twitter, I know that he's been thinking that his kids are the reason he has trouble finding a date.
But I know that he can be difficult, and a little judgmental and...well, honestly, a little pompous at times.
That got me wondering - are the women really turned off by the fact that he's a parent? Or are they just looking for an easy out?
Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-59749856855149356972011-11-28T10:26:00.001-05:002011-11-28T10:30:30.468-05:00Happy MondayBecause I blog about dating, my friends send me dating stories they find online, or from their own lives (or lives of others). I might get a short story, or a picture or an excerpt from a profile.
Sometimes the stories are funny, or ironic or just plain weird.
Then there the stories like this one - just plain horrifying.
Happy Monday, from Cute Ella.
Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-37747994013606731562011-11-25T10:00:00.000-05:002011-11-25T10:00:06.599-05:00He's a trooperThings are going fabulous with Trooper. Fabulous. He's smart, funny, kind, caring, sweet, honest, and not afraid to tell and show me how he feels. I couldn't possibly be happier.
So of course - I'm a little afraid to blog about him.
I feel sort of...guilty, as if I shouldn't be sharing wonderful things that include him, when he doesn't know that I share this way. But friends have said I should Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-50401031512456804012011-11-24T10:00:00.000-05:002011-11-24T10:00:04.730-05:00Be thankful
Today, I'm thankful I'm not a turkey!
Happy Thanksgiving!Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-2135852099126538292011-11-23T15:03:00.000-05:002011-11-23T15:03:06.164-05:00Who's on first?I pointed out this article from iVillage the other day. I was reading the article a little more closely, and one of the items caught my attention.
She never makes the first move.
The article says though this issue has been "debated to death," the reasoning is that if the woman is always planning dates, she'll never know if the guy is really interested.
I disagree. Based on what, you ask? In a Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-12535175574791536762011-11-22T10:00:00.000-05:002011-11-22T10:00:04.651-05:00Holiday cheerI came across this post the other day about the traits men look for in a girlfriend. The subject of the email that I got read, "Have a boyfriend by the holidays!"
Then I heard a local radio station talking about whether or not online dating sites are busier, and the women more aggressive, once the holidays roll around.
It got me thinking - are women really more interested in finding a Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-49076340596320624932011-11-17T09:00:00.000-05:002011-11-17T09:00:01.273-05:00Best facebook faceTrooper sent me the friend request on facebook, after our second date. I accepted it, already aware of what my profile looks like. I warned him ahead of time that I am friends with a couple of exes - and learned that so is he, so it's actually fine.
Just to double check, I also used the feature on my profile page, allowing me to view it as him - to see what he'd see. I double checked my Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-81608914447568642382011-11-16T09:30:00.000-05:002011-11-16T09:30:02.534-05:00Worth the waitAfter I went out and invested a bunch of money (and risked personal injury) for Big - which obviously didn't pan out the way I hoped - I promised myself I would never do that for a guy again. I told myself that I would never do anything that I didn't want, just because it was important to any guy.
Never say never.
I spent Sunday with Trooper. First up? Church.
I never go to church. Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-5598068911690567552011-11-14T09:30:00.000-05:002011-11-14T09:30:00.938-05:00Good problemSimone had a great post earlier this week about fear. She points out that some people are afraid of silence. I couldn't agree more - in fact, I just had that conversation with another friend of mine.
Simone isn't afraid of the silence; she's afraid of losing the silence. My friend and I agreed we both feel the same way. I think that happens when you're single long enough. When you're first aloneGirl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-30834720157036752802011-11-11T09:30:00.000-05:002011-11-11T09:30:02.748-05:00AttitudeI have this nagging voice in the back of my head that says I'm not attractive enough to date. I know, I know, this is a bad way to think about yourself. It's a faint voice; barely audible, really. But it's there. Sometimes, it screams. I'm working on it.
I've been told, though, that the most attractive quality a woman can possess is confidence. That it doesn't matter what color your hair is, or Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-32784236118404008862011-11-10T09:00:00.000-05:002011-11-10T09:00:29.088-05:00Little bitsJust a few little items I thought worth mentioning - but that really don't deserve their own post:
> Remember the article that told us scary activities can be a great date? I tested that theory not too long ago with Trooper - and it is totally true. The scare factor is a tremendous ice-breaker, conversation is natural because there is so much going on - and there's plenty of opportunity for Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-82290771507232429532011-11-09T09:00:00.000-05:002011-11-09T09:00:29.472-05:00Sappy, happy girlI said to my cousin, "I think I'm in love."
Her response? "Oh, I could have told you that last week. But I figured I'd keep my mouth shut and let you tell me."
Nice.
Apparently, when I told her about my second date with Trooper, and how much I was looking forward to the third date, she could see it "all over my face." She could tell I was getting all sappy and gooey and lovey-dovey over him Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-42719359065085350492011-11-08T11:00:00.000-05:002011-11-08T11:00:23.463-05:00Place and timeLast week, I told you about a "couple" who contacted me via OK Cupid. I'm still not over that, and how a "traditional" dating site seems like the wrong place and time for that sort of overture.
That's the topic for today's Singles Warehouse post - the right place and time for everything.
Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-30229267476520727722011-11-07T09:30:00.000-05:002011-11-07T09:30:03.452-05:00Bad boysThere's just something about a bad boy. When I was younger, all I wanted was that guy who wasn't quite on the right side of things; who had a little edge; who didn't always walk the straight and narrow. I wanted a guy who commanded respect, and maybe even a little fear, in others - but who would be a teddy bear for me. I wanted the guy who seemed like he was too wild to be tamed - except by our Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-27490197320448969662011-11-04T09:00:00.000-04:002011-11-04T09:00:07.695-04:00Simple answers"Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple." Dr. Seuss
So, there's this guy. He's a little unexpected. We met online (OK, that's not unexpected), but in a roundabout way. I was already so upset and jaded by the whole Gardner experience, and frustrated with the pen pals, and just generally not enthusiastic about dating, that I almost didn't meet Trooper.
But our first Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-17610146266332763292011-11-02T09:00:00.000-04:002011-11-02T09:00:12.653-04:00Best of the Worst: PolyamorousStrange inbox messages are par for the course when it comes to online dating. I've accepted that reality, as should anyone who is going to try meeting people online. I've been at this, on and off, for a few years, so not much surprises me anymore.
Still...
I got a message the other day from a guy, my age, local, with a decent picture. His message read, "Liked your profile. Please read ours Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-85698031042612444582011-11-01T10:15:00.000-04:002011-11-01T10:15:56.771-04:00Pretty picture
A picture in our mind, a vision, of what life, and love, should look like.
Admit it - you have one. We all do.
We're conditioned, even as young kids, that love is supposed to look a certain way. In fairy tales, everyone is pretty and perfect; everyone looks, acts and talks the same.
We're taught that everything should happen in an order, and on a schedule. We're given the perfect Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-78156927907255293992011-10-31T09:00:00.000-04:002011-10-31T09:00:06.179-04:00Happy HalloweenOne of the best things about Halloween is the scary stories. I tell you mine all the time - so I thought today, I'd share some other dating horrors. They come to us from iVillage - 29 Terrifying (and true!) dating horror stories.
Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-25182721829892581652011-10-28T09:30:00.000-04:002011-10-28T09:30:00.652-04:00Single horror movieBoo!
This whole weekend is about Halloween parties and fun. It's one of my favorite holidays, even though it is a little bit of a "couples" day. I will admit, I'm a little jealous of people who always have a date, can go somewhere fun and wear a really cool couples costume. Last year I went out with a several couples, for dinner and some bar-hopping. I seriously considered going as a fifth wheelGirl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-12255838833956588382011-10-27T09:00:00.000-04:002011-10-27T09:00:02.371-04:00Part of the game
I talk a lot about meeting guys, and the dates I do (and don't) go on. What works - and what doesn't. What keeps me (or them) coming back for more. What's funny is, I rarely talk about the the thing that happens most often.
When I get rejected.
I couldn't even count the number of guys I've "met" online (with whom I've exchanged emails or chats). The number of guys I've met in person is much Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-89170040225017227262011-10-25T11:00:00.000-04:002011-10-25T11:00:02.396-04:00Dating and self-esteemNo one can make you feel inferior without your consent. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt
In the last few weeks, several friends have commented to me that dating is good for their self-esteem. That knowing someone wants to be with them is a great ego boost, and they love that.
While I agree there's definitely some truth to that - I disagree with one part. I don't think anyone can get self-esteem from anyone Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-91151952525824159232011-10-24T12:00:00.000-04:002011-10-24T19:11:47.221-04:00Pen pals - Part IIContinued from here....
I was nice about it when I mentioned to each guy. I'd known Guy #1 longer, so I basically just said that I was curious if he'd like to meet, since we'd been exchanging emails for so long. He actually apologized for not offering sooner, and we made plans (more on that later).
I attempted to draw Guy #2 out a little. I asked him a few questions, and then mentioned that I Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-47648228624551434582011-10-24T08:00:00.000-04:002011-10-24T08:00:04.981-04:00Pen palsI've been exchanging emails with a guy from OK Cupid for two months. Two months, and all we've shared are emails on the site - not even personal email addresses - and first names. Appears to be a nice guy, seems like we have some things in common - but our communication had deteriorated to, "So, what are your plans for the weekend?" and "Oh, I hate Mondays!" Boooorrrreee - ING.
Then I met Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-31323889785848560182011-10-21T09:00:00.000-04:002011-10-21T09:55:15.201-04:00Best of the Worst: Are you smart enough?It's been a while since we did one of these. This guy viewed my profile the other day, but didn't contact me. Guess I'm not smart enough?
hello ladies! i decided to put a lil ad here because due to my work ethic i seem to have little or no time to meet a woman in my daily travels. i am looking for someone average,smart and caring, age isnt a big factor im pretty open minded to every age, i thinkGirl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-51184878715005227692011-10-19T12:30:00.000-04:002011-10-19T12:30:01.628-04:00Playground relationships - Part IIContinued from here...
I should have just let it go. Fine, I'm not self-aware. Fine, all I care about is money, and he doesn't have any. Those were outs, and I should have taken them, put the phone down and allowed myself the Nyquil-induced sleep my mind and body were craving. But my heart didn't like being told I wasn't self-aware.
Then it got worse.
"...you're pining over some guy, Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-43915805521803101342011-10-19T08:00:00.000-04:002011-10-19T08:00:15.823-04:00Playground relationshipsEven though I'd told Gardner that we weren't a good match, he still kept in touch with me. Nothing intrusive, just a text now and then. But, this weekend, he told me he was hoping we could get together, and it occurred to me that maybe I needed to say something. I mean - I knew we weren't going to date again, and he seemed to be hoping that might happen.
I finally asked him why he was keeping inGirl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-19064778783295291542011-10-18T10:00:00.000-04:002011-10-18T10:00:10.077-04:00Dating age calculatorI've tried younger. I've tried older. I'm like the Goldilocks of online dating - I'm trying to get it just right.
Thankfully, this article from How about we... can help me calculate the correct ages, and stop all the guess work.
For the record, according to this formula:
My youngest - 26
My oldest - 60
That would make my youngest 4 years older than my former step-daughter, and my oldest Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-69729596879758981692011-10-17T09:00:00.000-04:002011-10-17T09:00:06.319-04:00Something old and newThe tarot cards said I'd find love with someone I already knew. When I wrote that last week, someone on twitter questioned me. He said, if "the one" was someone I already knew, wouldn't I have figured it out?
With me, one can never tell.
But like I said - the cards are never literal. I asked the cards when I'd find love - but love comes in many different forms. The universe sends us the love weGirl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-20349287501380255112011-10-14T09:00:00.000-04:002011-10-14T09:00:09.231-04:00Why can't I find a guy?
I found this on urlybits.com. Mystery solved.Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-52657796640256193412011-10-13T09:30:00.000-04:002011-10-13T09:30:03.919-04:00Master of disguiseA while back, I told the story about how I went to see a psychic after Big broke up with me. But I don't think I ever told how I also had my tarot cards read.
I actually had three readings (don't judge; my heart was broken). I went to an acquaintance who charges for readings, and then had two separate friends read for me, too.
I don't know much anything about tarot cards. All three of my Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-17291547068878904472011-10-12T09:00:00.000-04:002011-10-12T09:00:04.051-04:00I'll tell you whySo, I met this guy through the Meet Me feature over at Plenty of Fish. He seemed nice - but they all do, at first.
We exchanged a few emails. At first, I was hopeful. He seemed nice, polite, and interested in actually looking for someone to date. But after a few emails, we still hadn't graduated past small-talk. This is a problem in emails, because small-talk only works in an actual conversationGirl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-85535457442053292102011-10-11T14:00:00.000-04:002011-10-11T14:00:03.478-04:00A thousand words"Never frown; you never know when someone is falling love with your smile. " Unknown
There are so many things about your profile picture when you're doing online dating. Too many to list, or explain really - but I tried today over at Singles Warehouse. Check it out here.
Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-71807044348799180832011-10-11T09:00:00.000-04:002011-10-11T09:00:14.147-04:00Meet meI've discovered a new way to meet more people on Plenty of Fish; it's called the Meet Me feature (go figure, right?).
Meet Me works by showing you the users photos, location, tag line and "looking for" information, and asking if it's someone you'd be interested in meeting. If you say yes, PoF notifies that user that "So and so wants to meet you!"
This seems to do two things. One - it Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-75420053299515537872011-10-07T09:00:00.000-04:002011-10-07T09:00:14.856-04:00What a weekI'm having a rough week. It's one of those weeks where you feel like, if you make it through without throwing yourself (or someone else) down a flight of stairs, it's a win.
First, as a follow up to this conversation with Gardner, I told him that I wanted a clean break, that we don't communicate well and we just aren't a good fit. He responded by announcing his undying devotion and love, Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-58633571537395240082011-10-05T09:00:00.000-04:002011-10-05T09:00:01.916-04:00Is it just me?After the "concert incident," for which Gardner apologized, we agreed to go on another date. Actually, my giving in had a lot to do with a friend's suggestion that try slowing things down and giving him a chance on a very casual basis. Good advice - if this were a story involving normal people.
So we agreed to a date this weekend. Thing was, I woke on Saturday feeling like absolute crap - Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-59577319920062102762011-10-04T11:00:00.000-04:002011-10-04T11:00:04.961-04:00Why bother?My dislike for bad spelling and grammar in a profile is no secret. I can't stand when someone can't take the time to at least check for mistakes. Does everyone make them? Of course. But overall, your profile should reflect your best foot forward - the way you should always present yourself.
Taking it one step further, the latest thing seems to be non-profiles - users who create a dating profile,Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-21083347611243366452011-10-03T09:00:00.001-04:002011-10-03T09:00:15.077-04:00Nice or creepy?So, I told Gardner that I didn't think we should see each other anymore. That I wasn't sure enough of the two of us to keep things going, and that I needed some space, and time, to sort things out. I basically told him I wanted a break.
It lasted all of two days.
Prior to that conversation, I'd purchased tickets for a local benefit concert, and the plan was we would attend together. Two days Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-37135943213556559462011-09-30T09:30:00.000-04:002011-09-30T09:30:00.513-04:00Happy Anniversary!No - it's not my blog's anniversary.
Quote: The Single WomanPhoto
This weekend marks the one year anniversary of my breakup with Big. One year ago, he told me that he didn't want our relationship to move any further. One year ago, my heart was so broken, I honestly didn't think I would ever be the same.
Wanna know a secret? I was right - I'm not the same, and I expect I never will be. But Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-72066816184941379982011-09-29T10:00:00.000-04:002011-09-29T10:00:00.246-04:00ConfusedI'm confused. Hence - I'm having a little trouble writing a lot this week. Don't worry, it'll all be sorted out soon enough, and I'll have more dating horror stories for you soon enough.
In the meantime - enjoy this from urlybits.com:
He was hoping, and you have to love his reasoning.urlybits.com
Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-37922114336738904922011-09-28T09:00:00.000-04:002011-09-28T09:00:06.798-04:00Good in bed
Here's a little something new....
A little while back, I was approached by Eric Leech, a Featured Writer at datingwebsites.org, a site that offers information, advice and reviews of online dating sites. He asked about doing a guest post for Girl's Got Shine.
Thinking it sounded like fun, and something a little different, I accepted his generous offer. After all - GGS is pretty skewed Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-17523099864607025862011-09-27T11:00:00.000-04:002011-09-27T11:00:02.714-04:00Responsible datingWe all know how to protect ourselves (and others) when dating. We know how to prevent diseases, unwanted pregnancy, and cyber-stalking. Ladies, we even know how to keep ourselves out of dangerous situations until we get to know someone.
But what about our feelings - and the feelings of others? Do we protect those? Can we? Dating is all about putting yourself out there, risking that you'll get Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-19289441858596383822011-09-23T09:00:00.000-04:002011-09-23T09:00:00.993-04:00I'm too pickyI know it's true; I want too much. I've spent enough time on my own to have developed impossible standards for what I require before giving up my single status.
Sorry, cupid.
When I told my Gardner story to one friend, her advice was to talk to him; tell him exactly what I wanted him to do, exactly what I needed and expected - and then let him decide if it's something he can handle. It's Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-65904609453231840472011-09-22T14:47:00.000-04:002011-09-22T14:47:19.692-04:00Mixed signals - Part IIContinued from here....
I asked for a "break" (which always makes me think of Ross and Rachel). I just wanted to sort through the confusion, and see how I felt. Was I just hanging onto this because there were some things I really liked? Was I just happy to have found a relationship, someone with whom I could share some time and a few smiles?
Honestly - was I more interested in the boost he Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-15527458544328569832011-09-22T09:30:00.000-04:002011-09-22T09:30:01.687-04:00Mixed signalsI really hate mixed signals. I prefer if everything can just be out in the open. I'd rather hear the most awful, hurtful truth than have to weed through lies.
Most people don't believe that. They believe that I say I want the truth, but what I really want is for the truth to be what I want to hear.
Isn't that always the case, though? I mean, we all want what we want, and most of us have a Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-52242789442701419042011-09-21T09:00:00.000-04:002011-09-21T09:00:06.323-04:00The L wordThe "L word" got dropped. But let me start at the beginning....
After this exchange, Gardner and I had a conversation. Try to imagine a conversation between a man and a woman about what they wanted and expected from a relationship; a conversation where they were both honest and upfront; one where the guy asked the woman how she was feeling, and said he was happy they were talking.
And you Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-35743457261161381842011-09-20T12:30:00.000-04:002011-09-20T12:30:00.163-04:00Single piece of adviceYou can find dating advice just about anywhere. Google it - you'll find thousands of results. There are dating blogs (*ahem*), dating sites, and books that offer free advice. You can also seek counseling, pay for a dating service - or turn to a counselor.
More often, when we need dating advice, we turn to the same place we turn for other advice - our friends, and family. We ask those closest Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5985902870926106984.post-59970077481075124702011-09-19T09:30:00.000-04:002011-09-19T09:30:00.565-04:00The truth is....I learned a lot from Big. Probably the most important lesson was - how not to treat people.
I don't mean to sound like Big's not a great guy - he is. We still talk sometimes, and get along fine. He's a good guy, and was good to me in a lot of ways. But after the way we broke up, I knew I'd never want to lead anyone on - even by mistake - and risk hurting someone else the way I was hurt.
When I Girl's Got Shinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14012743203191474092noreply@blogger.com1